Any Girl in the School
by RodentFace
Summary: "There is not one girl in this entire school I couldn't get," Sirius boasted. "What about me?" Lily challenges Sirius to try to "win" her which mostly makes him fear for his life. Um, James? Lily/Sirius FRIENDSHIP! Some minor Lily/James, Alice/Frank, and Remus/Sirius


"There is not one girl in this entire school I couldn't get," Sirius boasted. He flipped his hair at some fifth years sitting by the window just to prove his point.

"Really?" Lily Evans, and unlikely friend of his, asked, eyebrows raised. "_Any_ girl?"

"Yep," he replied as he winked at one of the fifth years.

The two seventh years were surprisingly the only two members of their group of friends who weren't busy. Remus was trying to tutor Peter in the library ("Good luck with that, Moony," Sirius called as they left the Common Room, "You're gonna need it!"), James was still at Quidditch practice, and Mary, Alice, and Frank were still at dinner probably still arguing with those Ravenclaws about the next Quidditch match. Which is how Lily somehow ended up spending her evening sitting by the fire in the Common Room with Sirius Black of all people. The two had been discussing everything from their own personal crushes, to how Madame Pince and Filch were secret lovers, and now to Sirius "mad skills with the ladies."

"Alice?" Lily smirked.

"If I really wanted to," Sirius said confidently, "but why would I want to do that to Frank?"

"Good point," Lily nodded. "How about Marlene McKinnon?"

"I could, but she's not my type."

Lily raised her eyes. Marlene was one of the prettiest girls in the school and although she was quite the gossip, she was still pretty nice. "I find that hard to believe. What about Emmeline Vance?"

"Easy," Sirius replied. He made a face, "Very easy, in fact."

"Okay," Lily replied, not sure she wanted to know. Grinning, "What about a Slytherin?"

"When you got it you got it," Sirius smirked. "Let's see, there was…."

"Alright," Lily sighed. She laughed, "How about McGonagall?"

"Oooh, that'd be a challenge, but probably."

"A challenge? Try illegal! Seeing as you're a minor and she's like….a hundred or something!"

"I'm going to tell her you said that," Sirius laughed.

"And I'm going to tell Moony that you're gay and you secretly have a gigantic crush on him," Lily threatened.

Sirius stopped laughing at once. "You wouldn't."

"What do you think?"

"And I'll tell James exactly just how gorgeously his hair looks on windy days and how desperately you want to run your fingers through it and just how toned his arms are and….."

"And you do remember _exactly_ what I said I'd do to you if you breathed even a word of that to James, right?"

"Um, yes, well, everyone knows that McGonagall and Dumbledore are secret lovers so obviously, I wouldn't try to ruin that….."

Lily just laughed. "Who else? Um, Madame Promfrey?"

"With ease."

Lily shuddered. "Okay, who've I not mentioned?" Lily thought for a moment. A grin spread across her face. "You say that you could get _any _girl in the school? _Any_ girl?"

"If I tried hard enough, yeah," Sirius replied slowly.

"What about _me_?"

"You?"

"Me."

Sirius sat and thought about that for a moment. "Well, do _you_ think I could get you?"

"_I_ don't think so, but you said you could get any girl in the school so I suppose if you tried hard enough, you could. Why? Are you starting to doubt yourself?" she grinned.

"I'm more worried about my health if I even tried," he replied. "I mean, James would kill me, wouldn't he?"

"Why would I kill you?" a voice said from behind.

"James!" Sirius shouted flustered.

"Because he accidentally broke that new broom you've been bragging about. The one you've been saving for the next Quidditch match," Lily said, matter-of-factly. "I _told_ him that he shouldn't try it out, but he just wouldn't listen."

"WHAT?" James faced instantly turned red as his Quidditch robes.

"That is not true! She's just joking! I-" Sirius tried to say, but James had already hurried up to the dormitories to check on his new broom. Sirius turned to Lily. "_Why_ would you say that?"

"Because it made him leave the room. And _he doesn't like me that way_! We're just friends," she sighed. "Now back to the part where you were trying to win my affections."

Sirius' face collided with the palm of his hand. "I'm not trying to win your affections, Lily."

"So you admit that you can't get _any _girl in the school? There are limitations even for you, Black?" Lily smiled smugly.

"No, I didn't say that. I just…"

"So then it's on. Twenty galleons says that you can't win me by the end of the week," Lily challenged.

"No, it's just that I don't want to."

"So your saying that I'm not good enough for you?" Lily asked, absolutely enjoying how flustered he was getting.

"No, it's just that you're not my type and….."

"Yeah, what _is_ your type? Breathing? Heart beating?"

"Very funny. Um, brunettes, actually. Wavy, curly, hair. Brown eyes. Smart. Preferably Gryffindor. This is weird, but good at Defense Against the Dark Arts," he laughed a little, a slight spark in his eyes.

"You realize you're describing Remus, right?" Lily laughed.

"_I DO NOT LIKE REMUS!_" Sirius hissed.

"I'm sure you don't," Lily smirked. "So do you, or don't you take the bet?"

"I don't. There's no way I could ever get you. I mean, my hair just isn't messy enough. And I don't play Quidditch so I'm sure my arms aren't toned enough and my abs probably aren't defined enough. And my eyes aren't that _dreamy_ hazel and since I don't wear glasses, mine never slide down my nose in that 'absolutely sexy way' and…"

When James returned from the dorm (back in regular clothes) he found Sirius lying on the floor unconscious, covered with large purple welts. Lily was standing over him and he heard her threaten, "And that's just the tip of the ice berg," before she hurried out of the Common Room.


End file.
